wow its been like 2 months

ok... so i decided to update this because rebekah was telling me to get a xanga and i was like no way then everybody would be able to read it. but maybe just for leaving comments on people's things. well anyway. i'm in college now! its not that great, i mean yeah im out of the house, [FREEDOM!!!!] haha but i miss orange county, particularly huntington beach. i miss the beach! and the concerts and my friendsss. there's nothing much to do here in stockton, but its not as hot as i thought it was gonna be, it's actually quite freezing in our room. like REALLY freezing. rebekah says i look like a grandma when i'm sitting on my bed with my blanket covered all over me or when im wearing my robe-ish thing. either that or a bum. she alternates name calling. haha. but anyway, i think i'm adjusting pretty well. i missed the oc today. it was quite sad. some people were watching pirates of the caribbean in the lounge so i couldnt watch it , and i didnt know where the sorority that was watching it was, and theeen i speed-walked to the summit [restaurant] to see if there were tvs, and there were, buuuut they were watching football. :( what a bust. oh well, im downloading it right now. but it's unbelievably slow. theres a guy here that looks like jason mraz, except he's blonde. it's trippy. hmmm, i don't know what else. summer wasn't as bad as usual. like i actually went out, my mother didn't hold back as much, except for freaking jack johnson. that was ridiculous, i locked myself in my room and starved myself for 2 days. no joke. i really did. it pissed me off beyond belief. and then i saw ryan cabrera at some new show for mtv, i went to fullerton a looooot. wasted a lot of gas. :/ thats what i get for having a minivan, but i miss my tofuvan...i never understood why it was a tofuvan though...steph? care to elaborate? even though i know you don't read this. eh so in other words, i'm talking to myself again. nothing unusual. college is a lot of reading. it's like nothing but reading. i wish i could read faster, this is pathetic. and i dont even have a tv! how saddening for me :(. i missed lost, las vegas, gilmore girls, EM:HE aND the oc. it's rather depressing. and the school doesn't have fuse. pathetic cable. i reallllly reaaaally wanna go home on october 21st. to see copeland, daphne loves derby, bright eyes, melee, and the spill canvas. :( but theres no train that'll go on time. and i juuust missed the plane tickets for 50 bucks. -_-. that makes me mad. blech. its cold. i want my mail. i'm not getting any of my mail, and it makes me mad. today i got mail, but it wasn't mine. i got all excited too cuz it was a package. :( right address wrong person. my cd's are taking forever to get here. it makes me sad. i really want them. hmmm. i'm still not done decorating my room. like...theres not enough room for everything. it makes me sad cuz it emphasizes how small the room really is. :( i dont know what else to say. i don't know what else happened. well i turned 18. that's one. i saw tyler hilton. i saw the all american rejects. i dont know what else. i dont know, it was really weird the other day cuz i was reading my psych book and it was saying that you should keep a journal, and it mentioned livejournal, and i just thought that was really bizarre, in my psych book... maybe its just me...but i mean, it makes sense, its like supposed to improve your writing skills and stuff but i dont see any improvement in mine, maybe i should write more often, thats hard though, takes a lot of effort considering i dont remember half the stuff i do. i'm trying really hard not to cuss right now. i'm doing pretty good. at least in this post, whenever i think "shit" [that so doesnt count cuz im using it as an example.] i put in "stuff" instead. i wish i could think that fast when i'm talking. i wish i wasnt so shy in class, like, i have thoughts, [most of the time] but i just cant make myself say them in class...its weird. i just cant participate. but then other times im just clueless, so eh. some people make me feel really dumb. like i don't know how they can think in such ways, like some people mention things that never would have crossed my mind. and i thought i thought too much. apparently not enough...i always sleep after rebekah. i'm always up til forever and a day and she goes to sleep around 11-1. i feel bad though cuz sometimes i have to leave the light on cuz i have so much hw, and like i feel like im disturbing her sleep. blah blah. i want wahoos. well i think im gonna go to sleep now, turn the light off for rebekah. i will try to update more often. but goodnight for now. have a great one everybody.